Over the past couple weeks, every time I think something funny about players I repeatedly encounter, I've written it down at the suggestion of a friend until this comprehensive list was eventually formed. This is all original writing of mine, so just give credit where it's due if you share it. I promise it's worth the read. Without further adieu... The 15 Types of Obnoxious MW2 Players The Noob Tuber: You thought this guy was obnoxious for using Overkill in COD4 to get two grenade launchers? Well he now has Scavenger and One Man Army to ensure that he will never have to fire a bullet again! Danger Close also means that he literally only has to hit the broad side of the barn youre standing next to in order to kill you. The Run-n-Gunner: Identified easily by his silenced UMP .45 and constant movement, this player views anyone not using Marathon and Lightweight as a camper. In his mind his play style is a tactical response to a game that moves too slowly otherwise. In reality, he has no concept of actual strategy and most likely suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder. The Run-n-Knifer: See Run-n-Gunner but sub out a UMP .45 for a pistol with a tactical knife. Will annoy the bejesus out of you with his Commando-enhanced ability to magically teleport through shotgun blasts, but his negative kill-death ratio at the games end will make the pain a little easier to deal with. The Little Kid: No, that isnt your headset bugging out, that kid is ****ing FIVE. His little hands barely even able to grasp the controller, all of his classes involve Stopping Power and the SCAR-H. He is notorious for blocking doorways, unloading his weapon at the very start of the match, and standing in the middle of the window youre sniping from to kill the guy you just put into last stand. The offspring of the two most irresponsibility neglectful parents on earth, The Little Kid knows vulgarities that make Eminem sound like Will Smith. Something inside you changes when an elementary schooler references the female reproductive anatomy while calling you the n-word. The COD4 Purist: Everything about Modern Warfare 2 was a mistake. The killstreaks, the maps, the campaign, the perks, the guns, the attachments. Even though the game is a brand new title and not a COD4 map pack, he doesnt understand why IW had to go mess it all up. May or may not religiously set his killstreak rewards to UAV/Air Strike/Attack Helicopter; after all he is a hypocrite and could easily equip Care Package/Harrier/AC-130. Despite all his complaints about the game, he has over 7 days logged and is about to hit his fourth prestige. The Nuke Whore: This player lives for the potential thrill of getting a nuke. Even if hes never gotten one. Initially, it was just part of a quest to unlock emblems and titles, but now its a habit he just cant kick. No matter how infrequently it occurs or unhelpful it is to his teammates, he can never again change his killstreak setup from Harrier/Chopper Gunner/Nuke, just in case it happens this time. Plays Domination exclusively. The Cold-Blooded Camper: This player will pick out one shadowy corner or obscure bush to lie in for the entire length of the match. Yes, even in objective gametypes. He thinks hes a tactical genius for thinking to use cold-blooded, ninja, and a silencer together to render him obnoxiously hard to find. Has the aim-down-sights trigger constantly held down, ready for someone actually engaged in the game to wander into his cruel trap. There are entire parts of maps he is completely unaware exist because he has never wandered more than 50 feet from wherever he spawns. The Idiot Sniper: No matter how well-known the spot, no matter how many enemies know hes there, and no matter how many times he gets killed, this moron will continue to go to the exact same position until he single-handedly loses the game for your team. Easily identified by his lowly level and all 10 shots from a .50 cal magazine ringing out in under 5 seconds. The EL1T3 SN1P3R: Seriously, thats most likely his gamertag. This player uses the Intervention because he likes the stigma of using the games only bolt-action and only uses Intervention titles and emblems. If using Stopping Power, he only has to hit you somewhere on your body mass to kill you and combined with Slight of Hand Pro, you're guaranteed to be hearing about how he QUICK SCOPED YOUR ***!!! in the post-game lobby. If using Cold-Blooded, he is the Cold-Blooded Camper's ghillie suited cousin. The Heartbeat Noob: Ever since he first tried it out, this player just cant bring himself to get rid of the Heartbeat Sensor attachment. Consequently, the Heartbeat Noob is addicted to the Bling perk, since he also cant use iron sights. He rarely sprints, since it obscures the view of his precious Heartbeat Sensor, but if he does, its only to sprint closer to one of the little red dots. He is easily confused by changes in elevation and may be found hanging out with The Cold-Blooded Camper. The Drop-Shotter: Every time he rounds a corner, he jumps. Every time he encounters an enemy, he jumps, then immediately lays down in an attempt to catch his foes off guard and exploit the games questionable hit detection. Call of Duty titles are known for gameplay basically grounded in realism, but that doesnt stop him from treating the game like it was titled Call of Duty: Combat Evolved. The Jackass Teammate: Maybe you stole his care package containing a predator missile after he got killed to prevent oncoming enemies from getting to it. Maybe he disapproves of you sniping. Maybe hes just a twisted bastard. Whatever the reason, this player is unhappy with you and will go out of his way to make your game experience is a living hell. He will throw smoke grenades in front of you, knife at you constantly, block your field of vision, unload an LMG next to you to give away your position, and generally make it impossible to play. If youre unfortunate enough to encounter him in Hardcore, he will kill you. The Booster: Found almost exclusively in free for all games, this player seems to believe the fun in multiplayer is derived entirely from having titles and emblems. Initially a fan of the riot shield + tactical inserition method with a friend to level up, he ultimately ended up paying a stranger $20 to get a little skull next to his name. If you repeatedly interrupt his clever ploy to complete challenges or level up, he will send you vulgar, hate-filled message letting you know what a noob you are for playing the game fairly. The Glitcher: That guy hovering 50 feet above the level, the dude inside the wall, and the guy causing care packages to fall from the sky like rain are all variations of The Glitcher. The only joy in his life seems to come from exploiting a game that was unfortunately released without a public beta. His homepage on his web browser is set to the google/youtube results for new MW2 glitch after patch. Hangs out with The Booster a lot. Your Worst Enemy: The single most aggravating player, and not because of his use of overly cheap tactics, but because it seems like he was sent from Hell and put in the game just to ruin your day. Every time youre about to get a killstreak, the same guy manages to find and destroy you. If you actually manage to earn one, he will shoot it down instantly. You never manage to get a non-deathstreak related kill on him. Taken from the IW Forums.. not made by me.