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AITA for helping my best friend's ex-wife get rid of the spy app he'd placed on her phone?

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mrw55

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My best friend and I have been friends since we were 5 years old. Me and this man went to the same kindergarten, middle school, high school, and even re-located to a new country (a few years apart). He got married very young and they had a daughter. They started having marital issues a few years back. I never got to hear her side of the story but he accused her of cheating with various dudes. 1 thing I know is that he was and still is a paranoid alcoholic - you know 1 of those pple who drink and they blow up start calling people and literally become paranoid.

After they broke up, he moved to another state. One day I had a very innocent text conversation with his ex about getting some soup from a fast food joint close to my job and dropping it for her. I left it at her door and she thanked me later. Next day, my bro sends me screen shots of that conversation .. i tried to call him, no answer. I called her and asked her what was going on, She explains to me how he had hacked her phone and laptop and how he has been sending this screen shots to every man who texts her and tells them how "he isnt the only one hit'n it." she also told me how she had tried to format the phone and all that but the bug was still there.

I could not believe he was actually accusing me too. One thing I knew tho is that since they broke up, she had moved on (clearly) or was trying to because I saw a few "special friends" with her. As a matter o fact, i believed him when he said she cheated - man was always drunk n fighting. I dont expect anyone to just sit and accept that BS. I could not believe that every time my nerdy shy childhood friend would get off work, (a year after they divorced) he'd go home get drunk and spy on his now moved on ex. I just waited for her the next day in the parking lot, told her exactly what to do - my friend had showed me how it works.

I even told her, I did not do this for you. I did it for him, so that he can also move on. He called me the next day, and told me never to talk to him again. We are now in the process of dividing assets in a small business we had started. Would like to hear your thoughts on this. was I really the AH?

Edit: idk if am allowed to add/edit.

  1. This was during separation - i think couples with kids who are minors first do a 1 year separation before divorce. Divorce was completed a few months ago. My fault on that one.
  2. The reason I told her that I didn't do it for her was very simple. Kids talk. Not once their baby said some things which pointed to both of them being toxic. There is also a time he actually declined to file assault charges on her after neighbors had called cops on them.
  3. Stalking her, is an understatement. What he did was hold her life hostage. Its obvious. In my mind, I was really helping his dumb *** from stuff such as going to jail and even losing his baby. We all know what people are capable of when jealous.
Last edit and am outta here. Me and these people come from a 3rd world country. We grew up seeing our mothers go thru soo much physical and emotior abuse ... And somehow they made **** happen for us you'd think pple like me would do so much better on a situation where buse is suspected. I have learned a lot from these comments. Soo much about myself and how and what I could have done soo much better. Some sticks I've gotten her are hard to take. I'll take the positives and run away with it. Somebody also told me I was invested in their relationship .. I laughed at that one. Some said this is sus and all made up .. So is every other post here. I'd like to forward all the karma to my lil bank account. Thanks so much good strangers. Bless up!!
Post automatically merged:

My best friend and I have been friends since we were 5 years old. Me and this man went to the same kindergarten, middle school, high school, and even re-located to a new country (a few years apart). He got married very young and they had a daughter. They started having marital issues a few years back. I never got to hear her side of the story but he accused her of cheating with various dudes. 1 thing I know is that he was and still is a paranoid alcoholic - you know 1 of those pple who drink and they blow up start calling people and literally become paranoid.

After they broke up, he moved to another state. One day I had a very innocent text conversation with his ex about getting some soup from a fast food joint close to my job and dropping it for her. I left it at her door and she thanked me later. Next day, my bro sends me screen shots of that conversation .. i tried to call him, no answer. I called her and asked her what was going on, She explains to me how he had hacked her phone and laptop and how he has been sending this screen shots to every man who texts her and tells them how "he isnt the only one hit'n it." she also told me how she had tried to format the phone and all that but the bug was still there.

I could not believe he was actually accusing me too. One thing I knew tho is that since they broke up, she had moved on (clearly) or was trying to because I saw a few "special friends" with her. As a matter o fact, i believed him when he said she cheated - man was always drunk n fighting. I dont expect anyone to just sit and accept that BS. I could not believe that every time my nerdy shy childhood friend would get off work, (a year after they divorced) he'd go home get drunk and spy on his now moved on ex. I just waited for her the next day in the parking lot, told her exactly what to do - my friend had showed me how it works.

I even told her, I did not do this for you. I did it for him, so that he can also move on. He called me the next day, and told me never to talk to him again. We are now in the process of dividing assets in a small business we had started. Would like to hear your thoughts on this. was I really the AH?

Edit: idk if am allowed to add/edit.

  1. This was during separation - i think couples with kids who are minors first do a 1 year separation before divorce. Divorce was completed a few months ago. My fault on that one.
  2. The reason I told her that I didn't do it for her was very simple. Kids talk. Not once their baby said some things which pointed to both of them being toxic. There is also a time he actually declined to file assault charges on her after neighbors had called cops on them.
  3. Stalking her, is an understatement. What he did was hold her life hostage. Its obvious. In my mind, I was really helping his dumb *** from stuff such as going to jail and even losing his baby. We all know what people are capable of when jealous.
Last edit and am outta here. Me and these people come from a 3rd world country. We grew up seeing our mothers go thru soo much physical and emotior abuse ... And somehow they made **** happen for us you'd think pple like me would do so much better on a situation where buse is suspected. I have learned a lot from these comments. Soo much about myself and how and what I could have done soo much better. Some sticks I've gotten her are hard to take. I'll take the positives and run away with it. Somebody also told me I was invested in their relationship .. I laughed at that one. Some said this is sus and all made up .. So is every other post here. I'd like to forward all the karma to my lil bank account. Thanks so much good strangers. Bless up!!
thanks in advance for any help with how to spy on my boyfriend's phone for free
 
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