Lots of Girls Play Video Games Online, They Just Don't Want You To Know

  1. Sparfire
    In a chapter in the "Teens, Technology, and Friendships" report released earlier this month, a pretty picture is painted describing the benefits of online gaming and social media in terms of helping male teenagers find new friends. "Girls who have met new friends online are more likely to meet them via social media (78% vs. 52% of boys), while boys are substantially more likely to meet new friends while playing games online (57% vs. 13% of girls)." Now why is this? A lot more females play games than we would think, according to the report, 60% of girls between 13 and 17 play games on a computer, a console, or a phone. Not all of them play mobile games, so why are girls not making more friends online?

    Of course, there can be several reasons as to why, maybe the outspoken girls find new friends elsewhere, use social media more actively and spend less time playing games where interactions with other gamers are required or even an option. A common misconception is that girls only play certain games, mainly on mobile or through Facebook. But according to another study, more than 35 percent of the girls questioned claim to play RPGs and more than a quarter say they play FPS games. More than 15% of the girls play all of these categories too: MOBA, RTS, platformers, sports games, and MMOs. So with that cleared up, how come they aren't making any new friends while playing all of these?

    A part of the Teens, Technology, and Friendships report is looked at by Kotaku, specifically the part showing that out of the girls playing online games, only 28 percent use voice chat to talk to other players. However, 70% of the boys do. Maybe we have our main offender here? These girls aren't communicating, and there could be a million reasons as to why. There's no secret that you will find individuals with lacking moral standards and no regards for the emotions of the people around them when venturing online. Hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, some people will show less favorable sides of themselves, it is easy to be tough on a distance. The confidence some lack in real life, seems to go into overdrive online. "She can’t play, she's a girl" or "Ohh sweet a girl. You got pics? I wanna see ya n***d, babe. No pics? FAT COW! I bet you’re ugly!" are comments mentioned by a female gamer as examples of why she prefers to keep the mic muted and stay anonymous. Another mentions the overly friendly, more creepy encounters as her reason. The fear of being stalked is not pleasant.

    As a female "gamer", I'm almost afraid to use the term as I'm not 1337 MLG pro, so lets just say as a female that have enjoyed playing video games for many years, both offline and online, I don't blame the silent girls. I was one of them for years. I never unmuted my mic unless I was in party chat with friends, and would often have to quit the game if we accidentally joined game chat and I said something. Not only would I get harassed in the chat, but also in game. My "team mates" would intentionally line up in front of me to make me constantly team kill them, then report me and finish up with spamming vulgar messages for a day or two. Keeping the mic permanently muted seemed like a good idea to me. Now, that I am older, I still stay muted unless I'm playing with friends. Not because the internet heroes makes me feel uncomfortable, but because I don't want to ruin whatever self-esteem they have left by responding.

    I'm not saying that all males playing online games are duchebags. On occasions, I have joined the game chat in games like Borderlands or Battlefield, but only after listening in for a bit first, to make sure my team was consisting of somewhat normal human beings. And I did actually make a few friends. But quite often, I found it best just to stay quiet. Some might say, "Hey, it's the internet, deal with it." Sure, girls do, by remaining quiet.

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  1. xrocky87
    1. Sparfire
      Thank you for this great contribution to the discussion. No need to shout tho.
      lowpro, Aydind and Kankuro like this.
  2. _ _
    I enjoy playing with guys and girls,I have no preference.

    Girls who play video games aren't afraid of being judged. I respect that.
  3. Johnny Quasar
    Funny, that when I first read this article, a "silent" type girl has become my daily playing companion for BL2.
    I couldn't ask for a better co-op partner as we get in, wreck all the faces and just play well together in general.
    It's also a mutually egalitarian relationship as we both are able to teach the other things all the time.
    Hell....even if you're the silent type, keep it up and make sure it's fun. No point in playing "games" if it isn't fun.
      Sparfire likes this.
  4. wickedkitten
    The amount of negativity on this thread is a perfect example of why the article needed to be written. Sparfire I think this is a great article. It's so sad so many people have such closed hearts.
      Johnny Quasar, Sparfire and Nauglamir like this.
  5. slyguyy
    This isn't exactly unknown knowledge. Other ethnicity and females are often the target of bullying.
      Lacroni, Nauglamir and wickedkitten like this.
    1. wickedkitten
      I always do
  6. Trollicide
    People of other ethnicities also experience this problem. You always tell someone's ethnicity by voice, but I've been around enough. People easily reveal their class, race, etc. in the way they talk, language, words, and tone. You can tell when people are genuine or pretending. People say racist, sexist, awful things in chat all the time without any thought. White guys often relish their impunity, their chance to pretend they are whatever or whoever they want, and assume that everyone is okay with them and that everyone is like them. They have no regard for others' differences. Not surprising, after all, since they do the same thing in person.

    CIP, I used to go to lan parties with a high school group of fellow hackers (all white). I eventually extricated myself for a while because they were constantly saying over-the-top racially offensive things. I also heard these things out of the mouths of the family of the guy who often hosted these events. I knew they weren't saying anything out of a desire to harm per se...just pure ignorance and disregard...no shame or self-restraint

    I solved the problem by unleashing my equally offensive side.
      Nauglamir and wickedkitten like this.
  7. Project Tsukuyomi
    I like this article. As you said you were "One of the Silent types" I too am one of them. But not a girl. I just have my mic plugged in and the only time I unmute it is when I'm with friends. Very good read! :biggrin:
      Nauglamir and wickedkitten like this.
    Also a lot of girls get accused of being E girls and also the reason most guys pretty much harass girls online is because they don't think there will be any consequences like there would be IRL
      Nauglamir, Lacroni and wickedkitten like this.
    1. View previous replies...
      Egirls are girls who only play video games for attention and will most likely release their n**** on twitter also for attention and the problem is that most girls get accused of being a Egirl
    3. Supreme Premium
      My wife plays
    4. Lacroni
      Im a girl and this is exactly the case
  9. wickedkitten
    So relatable! Especially on GTA. I've been called some of the worst names. One guy told be I should be raped since I killed him before he killed me. Like seriously? Smh. I want to have fun just like they do. And without being accused of being a 10 year old boy pretending to be a woman. Wtf
      Nauglamir likes this.
    1. View previous replies...
    2. wickedkitten
      "go find friends"? Because it's that simple, right? I'm a 29 year old black woman, with no kids,who's a gamer. My friends are somewhere with their husbands and kids. Sometimes chatting with "randoms" is how you find good people to play with. I shouldn't have to stay to myself because someone is being a ****. A man wouldn't.
    3. Loui2
      Sorry but when I said go find friends I meant find already existing friends who also are gamers. I think its as simple as saying to a friend "do you use 'X' system, add me and lets play".
      I also mentioned to find players who respect you and this does involve initiating conversations with randoms, if they are rude then mute and move on like most people do or you can sit their and take in the abuse or participate in it just like any other human being on the internet.
    4. Loui2
      Being a 29 year old black person is irrelevant and I also have no idea what you mean by "I shouldn't have to stay to myself because someone is being a ****. A man wouldn't."
      A man wouldn't what?

      The point is, if your gonna put your self in a game chat then expect trolls, griefers, and people with mental problems or else don't. No one is immune to online garbage talk, not even males, stop thinking you're the exception and realize not every male lives in a gamer paradise exempt from trolls.
  10. DiggerNick
    Most of the people i play games with are in fact girls, and i totally understand why they remain quiet; Because every time they try talking the virgins start flocking around them and try getting an internet gril or something. it's actually really funny from my perspective, but i get why it's annoying.
      wickedkitten likes this.
    1. Loui2
      Perfect example of why people with mental problems should be monitored by their parents when playing video games. Or am I just being too harsh and that "creepy stalker nerd" is a totally fully functional normal healthy human being?